I know I've to start revision already, but I'm lost...
I have no idea what to do for art, but I don't want it to pull down my overall grade.
This sucks totally. But what can I do? haix.
Watching them being handed the form to attend the awards nite, seeing the smiles on their faces, I wonder why am I not one of them. Did I not put in enough effort? Why cant I be recognised? So what if I'm one of the top 10 in the level when the people only care about the top in level. They'll only ask, who's the first? and the others will get neglected. It's normal i guess. Why didnt I maintain my top in mathematics? Why cant i be the best again? I hate this feeling, seriously. Now I already have difficulty coping with the subjects, how can I possibly think so far? I really think that I'm going to fail my midyear.
Art is killing me. I've lost the interest. I have totally no mood in continuing. But I still have to persevere. It's just an empty shell who's drawing and painting, not me. Art is depriving me of the time to enjoy life. It's making me lose my freedom. I hate that. Most of all, I hate being forced to do things which I don't like. Why did you scold me when I've tried my best to produce the drawing which I think it's nice? Your words hurt me to the max. It's like thousands of needles pricking my heart. I've put in my effort and you said it's of primary sch standard? So what's good drawing to you?! Please, I just want this to end. I seriously regret my decision of taking art in the first place. Last year was alright, but this year, all I can say is, it sucks. Totally. Nothing could bring back the interest I have in art before. It has been long lost.
