This, is LIFE...

♥ Monday, June 29, 2009

This, is LIFE

just completed xiaowangzi! yes i'm so glad! lols..
this whole week no training.. haix. sianz sia..
kk shall blog tmr. have to go now. xD
nights!

being cheerful is my only option..

♥ My World My Life

11:47:00 PM

♥ Sunday, June 28, 2009

This, is LIFE

last day of holidays! lols.. i shouldnt be so happy ehh? dun like to study.. ahh... my art haven even started the preparatory work lo. den still need to paint the big canvas. crap. i'm so gonna fail it if i dun do anything soon. stupid terminator. how am i going to recreate one?!

just watched finished ABSOLUTE BOYFRIEND! ZETTAI KARESHI! hahas.. actually i'm quite happy that robot died los. I want Riiko Izawa to be with Soshi Asamoto! xD they're engaged in the special episode! but i only watched until part 3 so i dunno wad happened next. stupid ayumi. why revive tenjo night?!

♥ My World My Life

7:23:00 PM

♥ Saturday, June 27, 2009

This, is LIFE

went to watch the AYG opening preview today. it was not bad, but the first performance abit disorganised.. lol everyone was doin their own thing, den no coordination. made us dunno which one to look at. hahas. but the rest are okay. XD

homed after that..

sian now only at episode 9.. zzz

cried to sleep yesterday. yeah, all the problems keep coming back to me.. The world is full of unfairness.. i dunno how long i can endure these already. everything i do, it just doesnt seem enough. all the get back is just scoldings and more scoldings. I'm very tired already. why cant they jus understand? haix..

♥ My World My Life

9:29:00 PM

♥ Friday, June 26, 2009

This, is LIFE

went to kbox at broadwayplaza(amk) today!!
there's 9 ppl. Me, Elwin, Donovan, Johnray, NiJun, Natalie, JinXing, QiHuan and Pauline
I dun like the fish lo.. next time I'm not going to order fish lerhh. got one weird smell that makes me wanna puke man.. den everything so cold.. so in the end only ate the pudding and some rice.
left around 2.30pm although we shd end at 2 hahas.
donovan, nijun and pauline left early.. so the rest of us went to elwin house to play dunno wad board game.. which was damn complicated. hahas. but it's challenging and fun!! too bad i had to leave early.. haix.
dunno why feel so tired today. think i'll sleep early today bahh.
zzz...

michael jackson died today. now i realised how fragile life can be.. people live, people died.. I wonder when would be my turn?

♥ My World My Life

8:28:00 PM

♥ Thursday, June 25, 2009

This, is LIFE

chionged all the homework today. actually left not much oso. only 2 chinese papers. but I hate that comprehension!! wasted my time. lols.

now doin the xiaowangzi.. haix lazy lehh. why nv extend holidays?!
I wanna watch Zettai Kareshi!! still stuck at episode 5 cos my mum didnt let me watch ytd... zzz...

[edited]
haix.. now only at epi 6. part 2.. damn slow.

four weeks have passed.. wad have I been doing all these while? trainings, outings, shopping(sort of), homework.. I've only been wasting my time. not a bit of the holidays I had used to do my revisions. and to think I had actually wanted to do well in the final year. how am I going to cope in the next few months? crap, I think i'm just dead meat.. given how easily I'll succumb(sp) to stress, I'll break down sooner or later. and my tests... wad the heck have I done? seriously, I'm damn tired and sian.. I have no interest in anything at all. my mind tells me to play and slack all the way. haix.

♥ My World My Life

8:22:00 PM

♥ Wednesday, June 24, 2009

This, is LIFE

watching absolute boyfriend!! xDD actually i shdn't be watching.. haix. but nvm since i alr started. hahas that's an excuse.. now I'm at episode 4.. but got a bit prob.

I dunno why, I wanna change, but i dunno how. I noe i'm a perfectionist, I noe i keep making things complicated. but this is me.. I dunno how and when I'll stop comparing myself with others. wad they achieve is theirs. If I've an improvement, that's already a great consolation. but why am I not contented? I just dunno why I must think of winning. Is it because I've no confidence in myself? In studies, In track, In life.. I'm always like that. How do I change?!

♥ My World My Life

12:15:00 AM

♥ Tuesday, June 23, 2009

This, is LIFE

training just now.. actually thot wont have beep(sp)test, cos it's raining.. but coach came, so its still conducted. lols.. my flu haven recover yet!! sian lo.. hamstring damn tight lo, cant really run. haix in the end only got level 9.7 want to get 10 de lo.. xD nvm i shall try to improve.

sian camp is cancelled! all becos of H1N1.. wth lo!
no choice have to stay at home.. but friday I'm goin KBOX with some trackers. hahas..

sometimes i really feel invisible. noone notices me, noone includes me.. I'm sort of forgotten. am I really that insignificant?

♥ My World My Life

10:13:00 PM

♥ Monday, June 22, 2009

This, is LIFE

sianz i really hate it man.. just before beep(sp) test tmr i have flu?! damn unlucky.. must have caught the flu bug at Tan Tock Seng Hospital. wth! very tiring and xinku! =X have to keep eating medicine, make the flu go away. both chinese and western medicine oso need to eat. lols.. i really hate flu.. somemore got camp on wed lerhh. haix

♥ My World My Life

11:05:00 PM

♥ Sunday, June 21, 2009

This, is LIFE

long time nv post lerhh.. cos my brother was hospitalised.. den I have to visit him everyday. haix very tired now.. dun have the mood to do hw. really hope that holidays can be extended. hahs dunno wad to do now.. dun hav the mood. arg..

anw
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELWIN!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIONG SENG!

♥ My World My Life

10:45:00 PM

♥ Tuesday, June 16, 2009

This, is LIFE

I'm damn proud of myself today cos i completed the training. :D
actually thought that i was unable to last for all 5 sets, yet surprisingly, I was able to push on. timings were not off even, and i improved! yay!
first &second set: 4:35s
third set: 4:28s (thanks to alfred)
fourth set: 4:19s
fifth set: 4:10s
I'm damn proud of my last one. cos i was already very tired, and my mentality was not strong enough. when i ran past jonathan, and still have 300m more to go, I'd actually wanted to slow down and jogged.. but i keep telling myself that this is the last one already, go on! so yeah, managed to maintain the pace, maybe going a bit faster, and caught up with the NJ guy, who slowed down alot. but at the last 100m he still have energy to go faster, than overtake me.. lols. I've decided to run my own pace hahas. haix now I'm yawning and i WANT MY SLEEP! xD which i cant have at the moment. have to finish the selection of music.. sianzz. doing art? tmr and xiaowangzi.

I know I should be forgetting you, trying to erase you from my memories. but it's difficult.. haix.

♥ My World My Life

10:16:00 PM

♥ Monday, June 15, 2009

This, is LIFE

should i start posting happy stuffs? I dun really noe actually. sometimes i wonder if i'm really contented. I find myself a hypocrite.. i jus dun understand wad i'm doing oso.. haix. if i dun even understand myself, who will? my goals are all left unachieved. my procrastination had came back. things are all not going my way. I feel damn SIAN. dun wanna do anything except to sleep. i dun even have the urge to train anymore.. I dun feel the improvement, the persistance, the energy. wad happened to me?
arg...

♥ My World My Life

11:48:00 PM

♥ Sunday, June 14, 2009

This, is LIFE

kay i shall post about the outing ytd!! I JUST LOVE OUTINGS! hahas..

went to bishan mrt at 11pm to meet the others.. Wenn Hao reached so early. lols. i was still at seragoon when he was at the station. I guess i should leave house earlier next time bahh. xD something really dangerous at the mrt station.. hahas partially my fault and jonathan's fault.. sorry Johnray!! he got stuck in between the mrt doors lahh.. omg actually it was quite alright, but after that when he talked of the consequences, i was like shocked! imagine if the train moves on and jr is in between the doors?! okay let's dun talk about tat lerrh. hahas.

reached harbourfront mrt and went to the sentosa express to wait for shaun, wenn hao and nicholas/ kenzo who did not get onto the train earlier. sry i forgot who's the last person. :X den they bought the tickets while i went down to wait for Jon and Terence. lols there's one disadvantage of wearing club tee with my name behind. got one guy, a salesperson called my name when i went past him.. den i turned around, but cos i was on the phone i didnt talk to him.. but i was thinkin: do i noe him? cos he seemed quite unfamiliar.. hahas. den the second time i walked past him he said that he saw my name behind that's why called me. i was like okay... lols wasted my brain cells thinking who was him. =X

when we went back up, they alr left, den qian jun and jialiang waited for us.. hahas thx! decided to wait for the second group of ppl, who came after training. went to giant and bought 1.5litres of water, which i didnt finish in the end hahas. the sentosa express was damn crowded lo lols.. terence ticket got stuck in the seat cos he played with it and dropped it in the hole.. haix.

reached there and the 3 june babies went digging for their presents. the cake sort of melted cos the sand was warm.. i think both presents was found by hexiang, although he wasnt one of the june babies. lol. den play i dunno wad game, which we had to pass the presents of tiong seng and elwin around.. hahs den ate the strawberry cheesecake. It was nice, although i dun really like the cheese. only when i got the cake i realise its cheesecake, but i cant possibly give back, so jus ate it lo. overall it was nice. hahs

played touch rugby, volleyball.. and went into the water. hahas thanks nijun for lending me her shirt!! xD den me and qihuan was buried by sand. :) I like the experience, and the sand was soft! so it's quite comfortable. bathe and had dinner at vivo.

went up the rooftop, me and aglin went to walk across the pond. :) chatted awhile, den when back. hope to see her soon!! :D after that she left with jialiang.. cos she got curfew. took pics with elwin.. i looked at the pic le.. i realise i look damn weird lo. wth. no photogenic(sp) at all.. zz. left early with kenzo, jonathan and sepent.

overall enjoyed the outing! so nijun, dun worry too much hahas! XD

♥ My World My Life

10:32:00 PM

♥ Thursday, June 11, 2009

This, is LIFE

hahas i guess i was out of my mind ytd? a bit crazy.. I actually sent messages to the wrong person! lols.. and i kept doing weird things. hahas. maybe like wad teng han says, i'm weird. hahas! quite busy these few days.. monday training, tuesday training, wednesday art, thursday art and training... hahas den tmr got art. haix.. i do the art damn slow lo. i think i'm the slowest between the 4 of them. haix. and I've no confidence that i'll be able to do well in art. my mid year showed me that my painting had deproved. omg. how am i going to survive?!

now chionging art.. hahas. still have to wait for the sec ones to reply me. hope i can go the saturday outing!!

♥ My World My Life

9:35:00 PM

♥ Tuesday, June 9, 2009

This, is LIFE

Alright, just posting before training later. This should be my last training of the week, because the next 3 days I'll be packed with Art lessons.. lol. and I cant go the saturday training because of my mum. wth.. gues I'll have to self train already? but i seems difficult cos there isnt any stadium near my house.. hahas. Have to beg ms tay to let me off early on thursday so I can go training bahh.. I really dun want to skip gym training lehhs.. although i know that I wont be able to do the chin up even with support. hmm.. or should i just go the friday training? lols..

Great, I've finally set my mind to forget all about him le. It's like a load lifted off me. I wouldnt let anything about him affect me le. (at least I'll try) lol. I realise I should've done it earlier lo, why should i be indecisive over these things? hahas.. now that it's over, I feel better. Or
should i say I thought i feel better?

♥ My World My Life

11:24:00 AM

♥ Saturday, June 6, 2009

This, is LIFE

haix.. I'm not sure wad to do now... I tried to erase him from my memory, yet I can't bring myself to delete the messages. I'll always back off, and cant seem to press the button, ending it once and for all. haix. I'm such a failure. what on earth am I thinking?

♥ My World My Life

11:53:00 PM

♥ Friday, June 5, 2009

This, is LIFE

i'm seriously very angry and upset now. why is it that i cant go anywhere i like? it's the holidays, i have the freedom to relax and play right? you already know that i dont like to stay at home, why are you doing this to me? you don't know how important this is to me. if i miss this chance, it's sort of no hope for me already. i'll be missing out on all the fun. great, just let me cry to sleep again then. as if you would ever understand me. no one understands me. i'm just the insignificant one.

♥ My World My Life

9:01:00 PM

♥ Wednesday, June 3, 2009

This, is LIFE

well, it had been ages since i last blogged. I finally watched finish Boys over Flowers after so long. lol. Many things happened these few weeks.. but I don't think i'm going to list everything out bah. but yeah.. I should be able to start posting more often already since i'm not going to watch anymore shows. I realised today that I'm seriously very very off form. i maintained my 400m timing.. haix. I shouldn't stay stagnant at 73s! but my 800m was worst.. why on earth did I went back to 3 min?! this sucks, seriously. cried after the run. okay not exactly cried, but got tears lo. lols. I seriously don't know what happened to me. Having flu isn't an excuse for my timing to become so bad right? nothing goes well for me.. until now i still do not know how to do my art homework, and I haven't even go to the library to research. crap. what the hell am I doing? I'm back to procrastinating again. homework are all left undone, and everyday I'm just slacking my time off. went to watch a movie last sunday. Terminator Salvation. did I spell wrong? lols. It was not bad actually. quite interesting, but it was a pity i didn't watch the previous one, so some parts i didnt really understand. Okay, I'm ending here. trying to see wad I can do lo. should I start studying?

sometimes i dunno wad I can do, and wad i should do. i'm really confused. i dunno why, but it's just that i can't really fit in with them. often i would feel left out, and i dunno how to start a topic to talk about with them. or rather, i dunno any common topic to talk with them about. i dun understand how she's able to become so close with them so easily. I've tried to.. but it's not really 'rewarding' erm i think that's a wrong use of word.. i really dunno wad to do. i hate those kind of lonely feeling, when everyone's got someone to talk to, and i'm all alone. it always happens, especially when the group i'm in is an odd number. haix. actually there's something else i wanna talk about, but i dunno if i shd. lols. seriously, sometimes i really wonder if i'm that insignificant. i doubt that anyone would bother to ask about me if i disappeared? and i dun feel that i've done anything for the team at all lo. I dun think i've helped in any way.. haix. why is everything going the wrong way for me? why cant everything just run smoothly? Studies, Track, and Life. everything just went wrong. i dun understand!

♥ My World My Life

10:11:00 PM