This, is LIFE...

♥ Wednesday, July 29, 2009

This, is LIFE

just now saw sth which caused me to think a lot...
___________________________________

dreams...
as children they are the things we have in our sleep and the fanciful actions of the things we do
acting irrationally expressing our joys at the things around us
playing the games our imagination put into our minds
ignorant of the horrors, the chaos, and the evil that exists around us
an ignorance that not only protects us but also shields us from those things that can harm us

dreams...
as teenagers they are the things we do, not caring of what the consequences may be
taking chances without thinking of what may happen
doing the things that those who love us warn us against
irrationally risking our own lives in total ignorance of the prices that we will have no choice but to pay
a price that not only bring us regret,
but leaves the scars that will never go away
scars that will haunt us for the rest of our lives

dreams...
as adults they are the hopes of what may be
the hopes that our choices will bring us true happiness
a happiness that the careers we choose will bring us success
a success that we can share with those we meet
meeting not only friends but one that will bring us true happiness
the one person that can drive away the loneliness we feel inside

dreams...
many say that they hold the key to our future
that they hold the secrets of our past
others will say that they are the source of our darkest fears also believing that they bring forward our greatest of fantasies
keeping our mind, our heart, and our soul within its grasp

dreams...
they are the things that we strive so hard to achieve, carrying the knowledge in our minds that they may never come true
they are the hopes in our soul that we try so hard to keep that we are willing to try anything to do so
they are the goals we struggle so hard to achieve that we are willing to sacrifice our sanity so we can obtain them
they are the desires within us that we become so desperate for, that we are willing to pay any price to never let them go
they are the pieces of our mind, heart, and soul, that without them....

we have nothing to live for.....

♥ My World My Life

4:49:00 PM

♥

This, is LIFE

hahas doing art now.. in art rm! lol eye damn tired. :( wanna sleep.
Just now have 2 ssrp periods, and they're the last 2 lessons. so pauline came to class and wwe did some art lo. cos she was released earlier than me..
a lot of hw haven do yet. hahas. but nvm. it's not really very impt anyways. xD

♥ My World My Life

3:41:00 PM

♥ Tuesday, July 28, 2009

This, is LIFE

erm was damn stress the past few days.. didnt noe how to relax oso hahas. Guess I was too stubborn over some things? Think too much oso. Haix, why should i bother about some insignificant things? Or rather, are grades really that important, and worthy of me to sacrifice all my time to commit to it? hmm.. I've second thoughts bout that now..
I've finally realise my shortcomings.. And it's time I learn to change! lols.
anyways, really appreciate those that helped me by encouraging me and teaching me lots of stuffs. especially Shaun, Michelle, Zhen Hui and Eugene. Thanks! :D
I'm feeling much much much better now! must be 乐观！hahas

♥ My World My Life

10:06:00 PM

♥ Sunday, July 26, 2009

This, is LIFE

yesterday's training was tough! same as thursday program, but 1 set more. haix. ate lunch, bbt-ed, den homed. went out again to cut my hair! wth i'm nv going to step into that shop again. my hair is ruined! zzz.. dunno how to go to school tmr le. okay, not that bad, but still it's not nice.

did art today, left 4 more pages to complete? or more i guess. den haven study for tests yet. zz.. okay gotta finish up hw le.

♥ My World My Life

9:47:00 PM

♥ Thursday, July 23, 2009

This, is LIFE

okay.. not sure if i'm able to post this. lols blogger got prob.
tmr a maths test and i'm still here. hahas. this is great man....... life sucks. at least today. put me in total bad mood. zz. complained to zh jus now. lols. and felt loads better now, although i'm still damn pissed off at someone. bbt-ed after training, den went to j8 to buy present for sis. went back school busstop, and waited for valerie.. den homed.

junmeng came back this week! hahas now lessons are more fun, although durin ve today i seriously wan to sleep while listening to ms zaiton. her voice is like a lullaby! lols.

I seriously HATE that attitude of yours.. wth stop thinking that you're so big and that everyone has to do your bidding. you dun wanna listen to others den fine! dun come and look for others only when you need info and help.

♥ My World My Life

10:33:00 PM

♥ Saturday, July 18, 2009

This, is LIFE

Life is fragile..
haix Mdm yeo's strong. and she's optimistic.
she's a good teacher, why must such misfortune befall her?

we must cherish those who are around us. who knows what will happen tomorrow?

♥ My World My Life

12:27:00 AM

♥ Wednesday, July 15, 2009

This, is LIFE

oral was screwed, especially the conversation part. but nonetheless, talked to someone and felt much better. thanks yeah! It's over, cant do anything about that le. okay.. I'm tired. and my comp is lagging like hell today. shant post much today.

stressed up, everything's piling up. I must learn to let go.. dun keep wanting to do everything. there's no point. haix. but so what? i've no idea what to do. no one to lead me on, no one to spur me on. I have no one to talk to, no one to confide to, no one to teach me wad to do, no one to give me advices. It's just hopeless. I'm tired.. seriously, very tired. I'm selfish, yeah i admit. but who isnt? I guess I'll just isolate myself? cos wadever i do, no one would notice me or find that something is admiss. who would wan to waste their time caring about something which doesnt concern them?

♥ My World My Life

11:11:00 PM

♥ Tuesday, July 14, 2009

This, is LIFE

Self trained today at yck. actually not considered self train. hahas more like slacking. xD taught valerie abit maths, den she tested me on some oral topic. now i realise how weak I'm at oral. crap. and tmr is the day.. OMG how am i going to survive? zzz. nvm just do my best?

saw RAYSON LING after 3years! omg he's damn black lo. hahas okay let's rephrase. He became very tanned. almost cant recognise him if not for deborah. xD didnt thot i would see him in such a place. lols.

♥ My World My Life

9:02:00 PM

♥ Sunday, July 12, 2009

This, is LIFE

right.. got error, den all that i'd typed was gone. lols. not that i typed alot though. =X
nvm no mood to blog lerhh.. hahas
watching 20th century boys! and harry potter and the half blood prince. xD still looking for free time.. lol

I'm lagging behind in studies.. omg.

♥ My World My Life

11:07:00 PM

♥ Friday, July 10, 2009

This, is LIFE

right, this is the 100th post. xD and i dare say that most of the posts are emo. a failed attempt to have a blog full of happiness and cheerfulness. lols that why i had actually recreated the blog last year. kay nvm enough about that.. i've decided not to continue posting about the india students le. just to say that i've lots of fun with them during these few days! and it seems weird when they're not around today. xD

stayed back to do chinese ws today! ahahs it was quite fun. with some jokes and chatting. :D left with alice, bernice and yan ting. bus-ed to j8! den me and ber went to have our lunch. i'm starving lo.. hahas. alice and yanting went home. actually wanted to eat subway, but there're alot of ppl, den long john oso nv open.. so went to eat yoshinoya instead. hahas chatted alot!! yays i love it mans. hope can do this everyday! den took circle line home! I love it when there's someone to pei me home. hahs my LRT came earlier than bernice's so i left first. =X home-d and actually wanted to do hw, but ended up sleeping. lols. and i've not done anything yet. zzz.

I have no idea about wad are the things that are important to me. Friends, family, track, studies.. there're simply too much things to be done, and so little time. I dun know which are my piorities. haix.

I must control myself tmr.. no more trying to be part of them. I am just myself, and I'll only live for myself, not others.

♥ My World My Life

11:22:00 PM

♥ Wednesday, July 8, 2009

This, is LIFE

okay.. i finally have mood to blog about the Indians Students! lols
Sunday went to SENTOSA. watched the AYG beach volleyball. only wactch for half an hour. one match. indonesia win Yemen! walked around and went to Fort Siloso, Images of Singapore, 4D thing, underwater world, and dolphin lagoon. ate lunch at subway. xD Mr Siva paid for us. they didnt get to play at the beach cos it was raining.. haix. i oso didnt get to play.. went to vivo after that den they left. ate dinner and homed.
hahas they're very funny lo. xD actually wanted Vinayak and Aman to come our class, but nvm lo. got VK can le. hahas. Udit, Ekam, and 2 more came our class for lessons.
went to marina barrage on monday after e learning. exchanged numbers and email.. hahas VK and Aman are couple! xD jkjk.
post tmr. lols

♥ My World My Life

9:44:00 PM

♥ Monday, July 6, 2009

This, is LIFE

didnt feel like updating about the events of the hosting of the indian students. cos very tired now. spent so much time creating a blog for that, yet haven post yet. xD hahas. yawning repeatedly. lols.
seriously, these 2 days were well spent with them. we were playing and chatting, and it's so much fun! It's damn enjoyable without all those 勾心斗角.. me and michelle really hope to sit with vk tmr. xD shoo junmeng. hahas no offense. lets see gets to sit with vk lo.. I dun mind actually.
okay great i'm so tired that i cant think of wad to write..
nights
*yawns*

♥ My World My Life

11:39:00 PM

♥

This, is LIFE

yeah great. i think i shall just give up and be myself. have to pretend so much when i'm with them, yet i get nth in return, and just being ignored. I shall just learn and stop forcing myself! It's so much fun being with other frens then them lo. ytd at sentosa was a great experience! met new frens, and caught up with present frens. i can play to my max and really be happy, instead of always having to 'kan lian se'.. seriously, I shd have realised it long ago, that none of them wants my presence. and yeah, I've been torturing them and myself too.

♥ My World My Life

10:20:00 AM

♥ Friday, July 3, 2009

This, is LIFE

today was quite a fruitful day, sort of. hahas. went to the AYG games village at swissotel. The volunteer(is that wad they're called?) very funny hahas. He's Chua Jia Jun(CJJ) and he's from Jurong JC(JJC). the initials are the same lo.. xD Took pics with the Qatar guy who looks like a statue. okay no offence. lols. I like the sketchy sketchy! hahas FUN! went back to school just in time for end of recess. so skipped a bit of maths. ms lee was good! hahas although she only gave me 15min.

after school took class photo, went art room. hate my thumbdrive.. made my files corupted, and I was so worried that my compositions would disappear.. all my hard work! lucky i saved in my comp alr.. but still.. haix. went to look for trackers at the library and played monopoly. didnt managed to complete, but i love the game. ahaha.

travelled to bishan stadium to watch AYG. jr couldn't get ticket.. :( felt a bit bad as we all sort of ps-ed him.. high jump was great! all the guys so pro lo.. jump so high. the china one got gold. 2.03m. he didnt managed to clear 2.05m, but that's alr a great achievement le! 100m guys finals was freaking fast. arnd 11s.. first was 10.8s. SGD got 3rd! congrats! the 100m girls finals was oso great! the top three at first were like side by side, den suddenly the korea one blasted and got first, and japan second. shocked. she's like damn fast lo. 12++s cant rmb the exact time. lucky there's 800m for me to watch today. :) but their timing all fast fast de. guys is like 1:55min and the first and second passed the finishing line almost tgt.. damn close. girls oso not bad. cant really rmb though. the 4x200m guys were unlucky. there were 2 false starts lo.. den they have to start 3 times.. i cant imagine how nervous i would be if i experience sth like that.. 2 false starts lehh.. normal is 1 only lo. but they ran well, and thailand got first. they oso got first for the girls. :) ended and we went to eat dinner and bubbletea-d. went to home.. damn tired now..

♥ My World My Life

11:35:00 PM

♥ Thursday, July 2, 2009

This, is LIFE

someone asked me today why my posts are so emo.. hahas. To tell teh truth, I dunno too. maybe because I want to vent out the anger, and sense of unfairness in me? Nonetheless, things are still not going too well for me. studies are going downhill man. I should sleep early and stop playing aroung, watching dramas, but still, I cant seem to get the motivation to study. I cant even focus in class lo. always yawning and wanting to sleep. omg. somemore tmr will be missing SS lesson. oh great. should i be sacrificing my lessons for the AYG Games Village thing? It's like a rare oppurtunity, I noe.. but.. haix. This is just crap. and after school going to watch the AYG finals. haix. 400m already ran, 1500m oso. 800m i'm not sure. so wad's there to watch? zzz.. Training on Saturday. maybe sentosa on sunday. I'm not managing my time well.. Plus, I really dun like the class to be spreading rumours about me.. SERIOUSLY I dun like jonathan phang lo. It's just making things worse for me.. should change my seat i guess. dun really like sitting at the last row.. but junmeng is okay and he noe alot. so it's good sitting with him.. lols. ART IS STILL NOT DONE! i'm dead meat..

zh told me that i should get over him.. hahahs I noe. but yeah.. I'm trying. soon I'll be able to forget him. Time will heal all wounds. :) (him as in another guy.. not zh. hahas)

[edited]

sometimes in school I'm not even sure I'm really happy, or I pretend to be happy/cheerful. but one thing I'm sure of is, being with friends and playing are definitely happier than at home. no one understands me, no one knows wad i'm going through. life is getting more and more difficult for me, and challenges are up ahead. I know I'm going to stress myself out sooner or later. It's just a matter of time before I really shut myself up, and all that everyone sees is just the fake me.. I'm not hoping for that day though..

♥ My World My Life

10:06:00 PM

♥ Wednesday, July 1, 2009

This, is LIFE

tired nowadays!! ahahas dunno why oso. but just cant focus during lessons and keep waiting for lessons to end. xD surprisingly history lesson and physics lesson today seems to pass very fast. lols. did physics practicel. I dun relly like practicals lo.. den go SPA. haix. I cant do well..
trained with eugene, marcus, sinyao, shahizam, gabe, and a few more.. first time i really trained lo.. but the intervals timings is damn slow.. crap. ran with a p6 boy.. and i was slower. wth. den was too tired so i slept without doin my hw. hahas. chionged maths in school today. but mostly dunno how to do. haix blame myself for not listening in class. muscles are damn tight now.. and cos was not wearing track shoes today, the soles of my feet are damn pain now, and my ankle injury act up again.. unlucky me.

I'm procrastinating and putting my art hw aside.. shit. and I find myself quite selfish actually. xD gotta change for the better!

♥ My World My Life

9:39:00 PM